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curiouser and curiouser...

lately, with more frequency, innerdance is supporting journeys into dimensionality beyond time and beyond light. I bear witness to innerdancers reporting they went somewhere deep where no time, no image and no memory exists. I am also noticing this phenomena in my own journeys and dreaming. Part of my ritual is to set intentions to lucid dream, to interact consciously within the dream state and to write my experiences first thing when I wake up. These last weeks, seconds, eons, I am waking up, vibrating full of dream frequencies yet without any recall available to me. What would normally be pages of details are a paltry sentence or two naming another dimension beyond my patterned grasp. I am curious how to find a new way of knowing within these timespaces.

I go to experience professor brian cox explore his passion for black holes (also a delight of mine) and I begin to wonder if this might be what occurs within the innerdance and my dreaming? Time and light cannot escape the black hole due to its immense gravitational pull. Maybe we are crossing the threshold of an event horizon, a point of no return, an in-falling/in-ploding into a dimension where spacetime curves infinitely? This is a story I hypothesise in support of integration from a journey within the deep dark.

I then read about white holes which are similar to black holes but where time is reversed. When a black hole evaporates, the white hole is what remains; there is also a transition from black to white hole called a quantum leap....Stay with me...

What if we are falling into the black hole during the innerdance, in-ploding, reconstructing and then falling out of the white hole, back into the present moment, transformed and ready for re-integration? I put together the 12 stage process of awakening on top of a black hole/white hole diagram in the hope of gleaning some simple yet profound insight and hold space for this possibility in the curation of soundscapes I am dreaming of.

image from Science Focus magazine

I attend an innerdance and the theme is curiosity; as a group, we explore what curiosity is and I wonder if it is freedom from fear? I lie down and close my eyes to see myself hovering over a lake as a buddha, I touch the surface of the lake with a fingertip before entering an aquarium. Images come and go, leading me deeper still. I journey into a black hole dimension and then I am suddenly jolted awake within the waking dream by a booming voice inside of me shouting "WHERE IS SHE?".

Now I am having a lucid innerdance. I look down and see a woman with her legs chopped off to her knees, blood is oozing as a waterfall. I look up and see myself as the Hookah smoking caterpillar from Alice's Adventures Underground; looking back down, I am also in the archetypal blue and white dress. I smile playfully, deciding to ask some questions through the hookah pipe. I ask "WHO IS SHE?', this question of smoke blows out into the galaxy, vibrating as sound waves into infinity. I then ask 'HOW IS SHE?', 'WHERE IS SHE?' 'WHY IS SHE?'. I see each question transmitted, bouncing off stars and taking their eternal journey into the beyond. No answers are required, asking the question is all that matters. I return from this spacewave experience completely refreshed and at ease.

Some say curiosity killed the cat but this cat has 9 lives that she knows of. What I do know is that curiosity keeps me young, 'it' keeps me vibrant, playful and with a capacity to hold deep dimensionality. innerdance supports me to untangle myself from the need to know as a mechanism for safety, finding orientation through trust which gifts me with a profound knowing which has it's own vibrational frequency, resonating within my body and beaconing throughout curving spacetime. I wonder who or what is listening and receiving my transmission...I wonder what they might send back my way...

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