the gulls are announcing their call to breakfast, I hear and feel the vibration of their cries transmitting through streams of air; the river swells as if in response, serving up a selection of local delicacies for their delight. It has been a full week with one innerdance online, 3 groups and one private session. As I turn my gaze inward, I sense the thrum of energy coursing through me. Cellularly enlivened, waves of fresh patterns eddy & ripple, bathing me in the new.
On Friday evening, my city was gridlocked, Colliding desires to reach destinations simultaneously created an energetic impasse and everyone was going nowhere slowly. The only movement available was a palpable tension rolling through the locality, reaching me as I waited for my taxi to take me to my monthly innerdance. The situation is so severe that several people have to turn back home and are unable to come tonight; as my wait (and concern) piques at the 50 minute mark I worry I too, won't be able to make it. I call a dear friend who is close by, stuck in traffic. She diverts and is with me in minutes. We arrive at the chaplaincy centre and the dear souls who innerdance with me are waiting outside the locked building. Alongside apologies are swift unlocking of doors, switching lights on and preparing the space. Usually, the space is taken care of for them so when they enter, they can gently arrive and settle in. Today, everyone kindly helps me move all the chairs (there are about 70), a large table and wooden pulpit. I set up the speakers and we gather in circle.
The consciousness wants me to speak about preferences and expectations, about how to be in flow with what is happening, how to allow and meet ourselves with curiosity. Everyone lies down and closes their eyes to receive the unknown. I feel in flow, I feel light, liberated as I move between everyone, interweaving with the energies as they rise and ebb. The soundscape ends and I invite everyone to gently return their attention to their physical bodies. No-one stirs. I adjust some app sounds on my iPad and offer some more words to support them as they tenderly trickle back into this timespace, nothing. Everyone is deeply held wherever they are. I continue to speak of riding waves, of allowing themselves to be carried back into presence, whilst live deejaying. This is my first experience of this phenomena and I begin to softly giggle in joy. 20 minutes pass and then swiftly, within seconds of each other, everyone is sitting up. It takes some time before anyone is ready or able to talk and when they do, they share potent experiences of depth journeying. One person sees a cosmic jellyfish reach out of the water and connect each of us with it's tentacles, someone else molecularly deconstructed, becoming the sound waves; this resonates with others who also describe feeling the waves within their bodies as they too melt in union. I name the collective phenomenon of the slow return and everyone shares that although the soundscape had ended, the waves continued and they all yielded with the surf, immersed in this liquid landscape until suddenly, everyone felt pulled out (one person by a luminous pink cat). Fascinating. I am curious about this collective experience of becoming the waves and allowing the waves to ebb and flow until they were carried back to shore and I revel in the delicious space where all I have are questions and no answers.
Yesterday, I offer innerdance as part of a local festival before going to Glasgow for an event on gravitational waves. The introductory talk by Dr Andrew Spencer is held in the same room I use for innerdance at the Arlington Baths Club and I quietly delight in the synchronicity of how we both bring our passion for waves into this space. I am curious how this will actualise new possibilities in the upcoming December innerdance. Dr Spencer speaks passionately of Einstein's theory of relativity whilst in the most simple of terms (thankfully) explains how space & time are elastic and stretchy and they can be bent or distorted and that matter tells space how to curve and space tells matter how to move. He speaks of the density of black holes and how they measure gravitational waves. I could have listened to him all night but there are other things to turn our attention to. A musician is inspired by the chirp of gravitational waves and has created a soundscape with this theme (so innerdance); we are now to go down to the swimming pool where there are overwater and underwater speakers and he shall live deejay his soundscape with his modular synths; he has also created a mini replica of the laster interferometer used in the science of measuring gravitational waves to capture the sounds of the vibrations as they pass through this measurement tool.
I go into the water, it is how I imagine innerdance to be in a swimming pool. There is also a light show projecting the shape of sound waves onto the walls. I swim closer to the centre of the pool where the underwater speakers have been placed. As I tread water, I notice an unusual sensation at the top of my sacrum which then travels through my gut body and womb space. I begin to laugh uncontrollably. I realise these are waves moving through me. It is unlike anything I have ever experienced before and I am in love. I lower my head and ears underwater and I hear conversations of the matrix, someone is speaking in French about the body and our cosmic potency. It is as if invisibles are whispering directly in my ears whilst I am underwater. The water does not distort the sounds and I can hear every word clearly. The vibrations begin again and I follow how they ripple through my sacrum and now up my spine. I can feel the shape and space of me from the inside. The third set of waves commence and without filter, I announce loudly 'IT'S HAPPENING!" followed by a fit of giggles and shock that I have (without thinking) shared myself in this way. I am struck by the intimacy of this experience with the sound waves of the gravitational waves; it is erotic, of eros, it is an energy of life flowing. I leave that pool vibrating to new and unexplored frequencies and it is these which continue to stream through me as I write this diary entry.
With curiosity, I shall follow this current downstream, researching these individual and collective experiences to understand them through my language of love - innerdance, gaining inspiration and information as I create a new soundscape informed by the trickles, rivulets and deluge of unfamiliar energies as they swell and wave through me, baptising me into resonance of a deeper understanding of waves beyond words and perhaps if you join me in innerdance, something of this currency might resonate within you and we shall be on, then in, then become the same wavelength.